Whose fault is it? Is it me?

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Whose fault is it? Is it me?


This is a question that women who are unsure of what is happening in the relationship tend to ask themselves.

This uncertainty usually occurs in relationships where manipulation and psychological abuse are more to the fore.  A woman will look around and believe she is the only person this kind of thing happens to – therefore, it has to be her fault – she must be the reason for it.

It is a more subtle form of abuse and makes the woman doubt herself.  The abuser uses phrases such as “It’s your fault”, “You made me do it”, “You’re not good enough”.

The woman is usually weakened and seriously doubts what is real and what is not.  Her faith in herself is slowly eroded and she begins to believe what she is being told – she is not good enough, everything is, in fact, her fault.

The woman is in constant fear but she is inclined to blame herself for all the shortcomings in the relationship.

In truth, the fault lies solely with the person who chooses to abuse – abuse is a choice that someone makes.  The target of that abuse can never be at fault.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse or is affected by any of the issues mentioned above phone COPE Galway Domestic Abuse Service at 091 565 985 (24 hours)

Whose fault is it? Is it me?

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