There is no abuse in same sex relationships
6 December 2018
Abuse in intimate relationships is about power and control. People in same-sex relationships are not exempt from this abuse.
Perpetrators will attempt to gain this control using a range of tactics including; isolation, control, intimidation, threats of physical violence and actual physical violence. In addition to these tactics, people from the LGBT community face additional forms of abuse including:
- Threatening to ‘out’ them i.e. to disclose someone’s sexual orientation or gender identify without their consent. This could be in the workplace or with family and friends.
- Play on fears that no one will help because they ‘deserve’ the abuse because of their sexuality
- Play on the fear that agencies (like the police) are either homo- bi- or transphobic and won’t help them
- Play on fears that they will stop them from having contact with children through the court process because of their sexuality.
The abuser may also use other myths about domestic abuse to prevent their partner from getting help and support.
These myths include:
- The belief that abuse between people of the same sex is ‘mutual’ so both are equally responsible for any abuse
- If abuse occurs, the person experiencing domestic abuse and the perpetrator will ‘play out’ heterosexual gender roles (for example the abuser will be ‘butch’ while the non-abusive partner will be more feminine).
- Abuse is a ‘normal’ part of the relationship in the LGBT community and that no one will help people from this community if they are being abused.
- Gay and bisexual men are more able to leave an abusive relationship, perhaps because they have no children or because they are not the biological parent.
- That domestic abuse does not happen to Trans people
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse or is affected by any of the issues mentioned above phone COPE Galway Domestic Abuse Service at 091 565 985 (24hours)