Recognising the Signs of Abuse

No woman falls in love with an abuser

Abuse in a relationship is rarely a one-off occurrence. It is usually a pattern of one or more occurrences of control, coercion, physical, emotional, financial, psychological, religious and sexual abuse and intimidation.

If you are concerned that your relationship could be abusive, then your answers to this relationship checklist may help you recognise if you are in an abusive relationship.

Does your partner?

• Humiliate you with verbal abuse and put-downs?
• Control what you do and where you go?
• Stop you from seeing or talking to friends or family?
• Make you account for any money you spend or take your money?
• Verbally or physically abuse you in front of your children?
• Act like the abuse is no big deal, say it’s your fault or even deny doing it?
• Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
• Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
• Shove, slap or hit you or your children?
• Insist you have sex when you don’t want to or insist you do things with which you are not comfortable?
• Unfairly accuse you of being unfaithful?
• Threaten to commit suicide or threaten to kill you if you leave?
• Threaten to harm or kill the children if you leave?

If any of the above is occurring in your relationship, you could be in an abusive relationship.