At the beginning, it can seem very romantic if your new love calls you often – where are you, I miss being with you, I just wanted to hear your voice.
At the start, you might feel adored, you might feel special.
Over time though the sweetness may fade a little – “WHERE ARE YOU?”, “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO OUT AGAIN?”, “HOW LONG WILL YOU BE?”, “YOU’RE NOT TO GO OUT WITHOUT ASKING FIRST!”
Not so romantic now.
If you are sharing your life with a partner, then you will share a lot – you will often make plans together, you might need to make arrangements together for who will pick up children for example. This is generally done in a respectful way – each person plays their part, each person takes up some of the load, each person gets some space.
In that case, it is fine to discuss who is doing what – it is also really nice to feel that your partner genuinely misses you and wants to spend time with you.
There is a fine line over which this interest can turn into control.
There is a point where your movements are not something your partner is interested in – your movements are something he controls. And he does not do it because he loves you. He does it because he needs to control you.
This is not love. This is not ok.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse or is affected by any of the issues mentioned above phone COPE Galway Domestic Abuse Service at 091 565 985 (24 hours)